“La reconnaissance est la memoire du coeur.” – Jean Baptiste Massieu (1742–1818)
This French proverb, meaning “Gratitude is the memory of the heart,” is displayed in my family’s home. I love the feeling I get when I when I mull over what these words of wisdom really mean: Our hearts cherish moments for which we are thankful long after they have passed. And why not make it a habit to express gratitude to those who gave us something to appreciate?
Today’s kids—many of them—are pretty darn lucky. They live with an abundance of stuff. My kids know gratitude is expected, but I always worry on Christmas morning and on birthdays that my tribe is ripping off paper faster than they can pause, breathe and say thank you. We work on ensuring proper appreciation for how hard mom and dad or grandparents or friends had to work to provide the gift, whether a material thing or an opportunity…and perhaps more importantly, the tremendous thought that went into the giving.
I am big on written thank you notes in my house. A handful of my friends make fun of me; other people tell me to stop it as the note back makes them feel pressure to reciprocate this practice; and some of my friends write me cards, too, when the occasion presents itself to say thank you—no judgment here, just different reactions from different people. But no matter how thank you notes from the Errico household are received, I am satisfied knowing the people in our lives understand that their kindness is a memory in our hearts.
Following the birthdays of my three oldest kiddos, I have typically prepared on my computer thank you cards that they’re asked to color, illustrate and/or sign. We then stamp and mail the cards together at the post office. I want them to see that there is effort involved here and that it is part of the process of receiving—to be grateful with “a proper thank you,” as they say.
And after much research on this action-backed virtue, I uncovered what I had already learned in practice: Recent studies show that there is something about sharing gratitude—saying that my happiness is due to something you have done for me—that recognizes our interdependence. New research by Algoe & Way (Social, Cognitive & Affective Neuroscience, January 31, 2014) indicates that the oxytocin system of the brain is enhanced by acts of gratitude and may be the glue that binds us into meaningful and important relationships. While this study isn’t the first to suggest that we’re social creatures, it suggests that our emotional response to someone sharing a kind word or deed is deeply rooted in our bodies and is part of our evolutionary history.
But, in all my searching, I also failed to find many simple ways to teach kids the quality of being thankful, the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
I got the idea to “marry up” the gratitude ritual in our household with Wear the Cape values and, low and behold, Gratitude-Strong Thank You Cards were born. I think you’ll love them; check out the pictures below. The inside of the card defines gratitude and thanks the addressee for “…making me grateful. Your kindness helps me be strong.” There are even wide-ruled lines to make writing a brief note easy. They are an awesome tool for all of our Wear the Cape families, perfectly-suited to teach kids what gratitude is AND what it looks like in action.
We hope you will have a look at the cool cards here and purchase packs for the little heroes you love (and, of course, they come fabulously gift-wrapped with love and care from our house to yours). Merchandise with meaning, I promise they’ll be put to good use.
Speaking of being grateful, have I told you lately how incredibly grateful I am for all of you? We ARE making a difference together.
Choose kind,
Leigh Ann
