friends | Wear The Cape Kids

Here we are, Cape Community – it’s back-to-school time! The summer memories are recorded in our hearts, as we set our sights on gobs of tasks to get life back on track for the big year-end push!

Already I’ve been vicariously inspired by my youngest of four. After his first day in class, Nicolas, my four-year-old son, came home and was so delighted and honored about the fact that Hayley, a new girl in the school, had asked him a very simple yet powerful question:

“Can we be friends?”

It got me to thinking, “Wow, what a great question!”

The challenge kids face going back to school and evaluating what they want from their friends is becoming increasingly clear to me as I compare the scenario to life in the corporate workplace. It seems to me that, these days, adults and kids alike spend too much time focused on what they don’t particularly care for about one another, putting wedges between themselves and others. Sadly, so much relationship opportunity is lost.

In the business world, where I serve in a Human Resources and Executive Coaching capacity, I see so many people who go “underground” with what they want or need from others, especially when their needs are not met. Wouldn’t it be neat if we were to ask our colleagues at work or acquaintances in adult life, “Hey, I like you; can we be friends? Can we have a productive and trusting relationship?” My hypothesis is that, if we were to ask such candid questions of one another, the world might run a heck of a lot smoother with far fewer hurt feelings. And the real key to the kingdom lies in defining ground rules if the friendship or partnership has somehow been violated.

For Nicolas, I hope he and Hayley can indeed be friends, be kind to and supportive of one another. If/when that friendship gets off track, my wish is that they can use their words to talk about how they feel and get back to their higher ground of friendship and trust where their intent is to HELP – not HURT – one another, always. If they and all their friends Wear their Capes this year, along with parents, teachers and coaches, they’ll all show each other the way to a happier world.

Yours in kindness,

Leigh Ann

P.S. May we all also be Better Than That this school year – better than bullying. Together, we can reverse the epidemic.

My CRAZY Uncle Pete died this past week and was laid to rest. He really was nuts, but I mean that in a wholeheartedly loving way. He always made people laugh and never took life too seriously. How I wish we could have one more conversation with Uncle Pete, one more laugh, one more boat ride on a quiet lake to go fishing, one more Christmas Eve tradition– hootin’ and hollerin’ over our whacky Secret Santa game. We will all miss him so much.

As my Aunt said to me over the weekend, “Life is for the living.” So why would I waste blog space to selfishly talk about my sadness and seek sympathy for my family? Well, because perhaps there are rich lessons veiled in my reflection that we can impart to our children as we struggle with grief (sprinkled with regret) from losing a loved one.

I felt like the one silver lining in losing Crazy Uncle Pete was it rebooted me big time on what matters with our “lives for the living” and with our next generation in this world:

Family and extended family really matter – and taking the time to see each other really does give us strength. Family is “going home” to reconnect with our roots. Are we doing enough to let our children know about their heritage?

Friendship is pure gold. A friend who comforts you in your dark storm is a friend to treasure. Are we doing what we can to be that friend to those who are struggling? We tend to be super supportive during loss, funerals – we are good friends, good daughters, good sisters, good cousins….but what can we do every day to have that same drive to support and show kindness to our friends?

There are so many random acts of kindness swirling around us during a grief-stricken time…so many people who do favors without the hunt for a gain. I ask myself, why can’t we all be in this mode as a common practice? And how would that change the landscape of our culture? Fun to dream of that better way.

At times of grief and loss, there is so much civility, such good manners, exhibited in abundance. How can we keep that vibe alive in our society on happy occasions, too, and on hurried weekdays when we are all out there dashing through the race of life?

When we suffer loss, many of us take stock in how we are spending our time each day, assessing what is and is not serving us well. Is there a way we can do self-regulation more regularly? Our most cherished possessions are the memories we’ve made with our dear friends, our family, and especially our children during their fragile and magical formative years.

So, my dear Uncle Pete: May you rest in peace. And thank you, Uncle, for the lessons this week; they are locked in my heart just like the memory of that day, long ago, floating in a little boat on Cape Cod.

Choose Kind,
Leigh Ann