acceptance | Wear The Cape Kids

With twin daughters in preschool, we are never at a shortage of dinner conversation. It’s at this time that I try to dig a little bit about what’s REALLY going on at school. What are the best moments and the worst? Who is making them laugh and cry? When do they feel their bravest and their most scared? The things I feel that I should know as their mom. The things I know are sometimes hard to identify in myself.

This year, at almost 5 years old, they are beginning to see, for the first time, a line between boys and girls. It started innocently enough. They said they didn’t like it “because it’s a GIRLS song…” or “That’s a boys toy, where are the girl toys?” Let me set the record straight by saying we own a wardrobe of princess dress up clothes, and they are housed in a box next to the matchbox cars. We play with dolls and blocks. We run fast, get dirty and like glitter. We are equal opportunists when it comes to cool things. And cool is subjective, not gender exclusive. So these early comments were new and unexpected but harmless. They still are. But now, instead of looking past them, I’ve used them as a chance to explain why they don’t have to be the rule.

Now, when I hear, “that’s a boys game,” I ask, “what does that mean?” I continue with, “I think it’s okay to like lots of things. Next time just tell them it’s fun if everyone plays together.” I remind my girls to include everyone — even (and especially) the kids who might not have been so nice the last time. To play and sing and wear what is interesting. Yes, that might be the pinkest, frilliest, princessiest thing in the store, and that’s fine. But they love Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman and that’s pretty awesome too. I remind them to tell others that boys and girls can do lots of things. Lots of the same things. If they want to. But above all, to include and respect each of their classmates and teammates and friends. Do I think other 4 and 5 year old are harboring ill feelings? Of course not. It’s hard out there for all of them when it feels like you have to fit in. Even though I didn’t imagine it would start quite this early in life…it’s happening. And it’s best for all of us if my daughters choose fairness, fun and kindness first — a vision shared by both MySuperFoods and Wear the Cape. I hope it helps remind me to do the same.

Katie Jesionowski is the co-founder of MySuperFoods Company.

“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today we recognize the man behind the words above. As the third Monday of January reminds us, focusing on what unites us instead of what divides us makes our lives happier, more peaceful, and more successful…a lesson evident from an early age. According to the National School Climate Center:

“…school climate is larger than any one person’s experience. When people work together, a group process emerges that is bigger that any one person’s actions. A comprehensive assessment of school climate includes major spheres of school life such as safety, relationships, teaching and learning, and the environment as well as larger organizational patterns (e.g. from fragmented to shared; healthy or unhealthy). How we feel about being in school and these larger group trends shape learning and student development. Peer-reviewed educational research has consistently demonstrated that a positive school climate is associated with academic achievement, effective risk prevention efforts and positive youth development.”

Teaching kids to not only accept others for their differences, but to celebrate diversity among their peers means that the group functions better overall, benefiting each student on an individual level. And the value goes beyond time spent in the classroom. A “positive school climate fosters youth development and learning necessary for a productive, contributing and satisfying life in society.”

How Can You Help at Home?

Communicate to your kids that everyone deserves to feel socially, emotionally and physically safe.
Explain the importance of respecting AND engaging others.
Provide first-hand experiences, such as caring for pets or looking out for younger siblings, to allow kids to think of themselves as helpful, caring people.
Get involved in your child’s school and activities to encourage policies and programs that celebrate diversity of talents, interests, age, race, income, background, appearance, cultures, etc.

Check out these “14 Unexpected Responses to Hatred Show That Humans Do Sometimes Get It Right” for more inspiring stories of people looking beyond their differences to find common ground, fertile for a positive outcome. Make it a great week!