With twin daughters in preschool, we are never at a shortage of dinner conversation.  It’s at this time that I try to dig a little bit about what’s REALLY going on at school.  What are the best moments and the worst?  Who is making them laugh and cry?  When do they feel their bravest and their most scared?  The things I feel that I should know as their mom.  The things I know are sometimes hard to identify in myself.

This year, at almost 5 years old, they are beginning to see, for the first time, a line between boys and girls.  It started innocently enough.  They said they didn’t like it “because it’s a GIRLS song…” or “That’s a boys toy, where are the girl toys?”  Let me set the record straight by saying we own a wardrobe of princess dress up clothes, and they are housed in a box next to the matchbox cars.  We play with dolls and blocks.  We run fast, get dirty and like glitter.  We are equal opportunists when it comes to cool things.  And cool is subjective, not gender exclusive.  So these early comments were new and unexpected but harmless.  They still are.  But now, instead of looking past them, I’ve used them as a chance to explain why they don’t have to be the rule.

Now, when I hear, “that’s a boys game,” I ask, “what does that mean?”  I continue with, “I think it’s okay to like lots of things.  Next time just tell them it’s fun if everyone plays together.”  I remind my girls to include everyone — even (and especially) the kids who might not have been so nice the last time.  To play and sing and wear what is interesting.  Yes, that might be the pinkest, frilliest, princessiest thing in the store, and that’s fine.  But they love Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman and that’s pretty awesome too.  I remind them to tell others that boys and girls can do lots of things.  Lots of the same things.  If they want to.  But above all, to include and respect each of their classmates and teammates and friends.  Do I think other 4 and 5 year old are harboring ill feelings?  Of course not.  It’s hard out there for all of them when it feels like you have to fit in.  Even though I didn’t imagine it would start quite this early in life…it’s happening.  And it’s best for all of us if my daughters choose fairness, fun and kindness first — a vision shared by both MySuperFoods and Wear the Cape. I hope it helps remind me to do the same.