Last week we announced that Dr. Philip Brown, a senior consultant at the National School Climate Center, has teamed up with Wear the Cape to serve as our resident expert on character education!
As detailed here, Dr. Brown has created the Cape Code Project to help guide parents across the country in fostering the development of character in their kids. With the below activity—the second in a series of three—Dr. Brown guides you and your family in “Defining your core ethical values in behavioral terms.”
Activity #2: Defining your core ethical values in behavioral terms
Background: The second and critical task in making family core ethical values real and useful to guide and support positive relationships is defining what the values mean in terms of specific behaviors. For relationships to be positive and supportive, we need to have expectations of each other, be aware, clear and explicit regarding them, be flexible about them in terms of the circumstances of everyday life, and understanding when we fail to meet them. This is not about setting the stage for ‘I gotcha ya” or retribution and punishment. Using core values as guidelines allow for examining our behaviors and modifying them, giving positive support and feedback to each other and as a way of thinking and reflecting about our behavior ourselves.
Activity:
- Depending on the age of your children and their attention span, at the same or a subsequent family meeting indicate you now need to define your selected core ethical values in terms of specific kinds of behaviors. Use a blackboard, computer or paper and make two lists for each core value: 1) Examples of what the value looks like and sounds like when we are doing it; 2) Examples of what the value looks like and sounds like when we are not doing it. For example, if your family has chosen the core ethical of respect, you might list under 1) – Show that you are listening when someone talks to you by stopping what you are doing and looking at them. Under 2) you might list – Interrupting someone when they are talking to you.
- Make sure that children have a chance to come up with many if not most of the behavioral examples, as it is their perspective and agreement that you are after to make sure they both understand what is expected of them, but also what they think is important in their own world view.
- Post the behavioral definitions in a place that everyone can see and say that you will use them to help keep everyone on track. Indicate that you will review them in a few weeks to see if you need to add any examples, and that everyone can come up with good ideas for behaviors that would help support the family being loving, caring people.
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If you missed Activity #1, “Discovering and agreeing upon your family’s core ethical values,” you can find it here, along with an introduction to the Cape Code Project.
Wishing you and your family the best on this fun, constructive journey! And please send us your feedback and questions along the way – we’d love to help.
Choose kind,
Leigh Ann
