Protecting our Children Online

October 18, 2018September 20, 2018 twhimsLeave a comment

Yesterday I received an email from my son’s elementary school principal informing parents that the school had an online safety presentation for their fourth and fifth grade students. When asked how many of the students had spoken to someone whom they knew was a stranger online, about half of the children raised their hands.

WOW! That is scary!

As parents, we have been instilling the life lesson of “Stranger Danger” in our children from the time they were toddlers. “Don’t speak to a stranger,” “Never get in a car with someone you don’t know,” and other important rules we implore our children follow to keep them safe.

Yet, HALF of these nine to eleven year olds admitted to talking to a stranger online. Mrs. Smith, Principal at Angelo L. Tomaso School in Warren, New Jersey urged parents to help by stating, “We need to work together to remain informed, diligent, and ahead of the game to guide our kids through their world of social media.”

Another abuse of social media is Cyber bullying. I’m curious as to how many of those fourth and fifth grade students would have raised their hands to indicate if they have been bullied online – or how many Middle and High Schoolers?

Our First Lady has pledged to work toward putting an end to bullying on social media. Mrs. Trump states, “We have to find a better way to talk to each other, to disagree with each other, to respect each other.” (usatoday.com). As parents, it is our job to teach our children this better way.

Keeping our children safe is paramount, both on and off-line. We need to help our children navigate technology, which includes video games, social media, and online chat rooms, in a way that will help, not hurt.

Below we have listed several ways to talk to your child about online safety. It’s never too early to discuss these strategies with your child. Openly talking with your child on a regular basis is key to keeping your child safe.

Discussion Topics for Online Safety:

Make the real World /Cyber World Connection: Instruct your children that if it’s not permitted in the “real world” it should not be done in the “Cyber World” i.e.: sharing personal information, making fun of someone, showing inappropriate photos of self or someone else.
Protect your Privacy: Never share your personal information online, including age, address, phone number, birthday.Allow your child to understand that he/she must tell you if someone is asking for this information online.
Know When to Let Go: Let your child know that if he/she is uncomfortable with anything presented online, it is encouraged to immediately leave that site and inform a parent or teacher.
Be Approachable: It is extremely important that your child understand that you are there to support and help him/her with any and all online issues. Allow your child to feel comfortable and secure when telling you details of online play.
Online Play to Stay: Create a list of rules with your child to help him stay safe online. Include sites and topics that are “green light” – can be used without adult guidance, “yellow light” – an adult needs to be present/an adult needs to be called to review and “red light” – sites and topics that are not to be viewed or discussed.

Online safety and Cyber bullying are topics discussed during our Hero Assembly. For more information about our program, please email leighann@wearthecapekids.com

Quality Time Makes a Comeback!

September 20, 2018 twhimsLeave a comment

School is back in session, leaving us longing for the lazy days of summer, yet excited for the potential and possibilities that the school year brings.

As our schedules go from relaxed to overwhelming, it is easy to push aside the quality time you shared with your family over the summer. I admit, I do fall into “the back to school trap.” As parents, we transition into “survival mode” while juggling work, dinner, kids activities, and homework. It feels as if there is no extra time to spend on anything fun. Even play dates have taken a back seat in our family, due to lack of time.

However, our children need and crave that quality time and that down time. In response to my son telling me that he “can only talk to me through my lap top,” I decided to make some serious changes this coming school year in an effort to bring back quality time to my family. Below I’ve listed my school year “Quality Time (QT)“ strategies, should you wish to join my mission to bring “QT” back to your family life.

“QT” Strategies:

Power Down: set a specific time during the after school hours where you turn off your phone and computer so that your full attention is on your children. Let co-workers and friends know you are not available between those hours to return calls or messages. Have your children power down as well.

Leverage Driving Time: Car time can be great quality time. Instead of all but the driver on their devices, bring back a good old game of Eye Spy or 20 questions about your day. Our favorite question is: how were you kind today?

Revive Back Family Game Night: Designate one night a week to play board games with your children.

Move Together: Go for a family walk or bike ride

Break Bread Together: If, like most families, you can’t eat dinner as a family each night due to activities, try to eat a family appetizer (fruit and veggies) before you leave for evening activities or perhaps family dessert upon your return. All you need is fifteen minutes, but the benefits of coming together to communicate as a family will last much longer!

Wishing you and your family a happy and successful school year, filled with lots of love, laughter, and….quality time together.

Yours in Kindness,
The Wear the Cape Team

Let’s Grow Our Mindset!

June 12, 2018May 18, 2018 twhimsLeave a comment

There is a popular view among educators in regards to intelligence that students should be pushed to adopt a Growth Mindset. Mindset is the concept that everyone holds a personal “theory” of themselves, as explained by Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

According to Dweck, there are two mindsets: Fixed and Growth. A Fixed Mindset is one where people feel that their basic qualities, such as talent and intelligence, are “fixed” and, therefore, unable to be improved upon.

One with a Fixed Mindset may say, “I can’t do that because I’m not good at it, or I’m dumb,” causing him/her to give up easily, ignore feedback, avoid challenges, and develop anxiety around fears.

On the other hand, a Growth Mindset allows one to believe that he/she can achieve whatever is desired by building the basic qualities that they have, through hard work and guided assistance.

Developing a Growth Mindset is crucial for both young and old, as it helps a person to embrace challenges, give 100% effort, become inspired by other people’s successes, and learn from feedback.

As educators and parents, it is our responsibility to help mold a positive Growth Mindset in our children and students. Below are some examples of how you can help your children build their Growth Mindset and assist them in creating a positive frame of mind, necessary to become successful and happy.

Below we have listed several Growth Mindset Goals for you to use with your students, children….and even yourself!

Growth Mindset Goals:

Embrace the word “YET”: Dweck encourages all to add the word “yet” to our conversations with children. When you hear them say, “I can’t,” follow up with a “yet”. This allows our brains to understand that, although we cannot do something at this time, with hard work and patience, we very well may master the task at hand.
Accept Mistakes: When one makes a mistake or fails at a task, applaud the effort AND use the event as a teachable moment to gain wisdom on what could have been done differently to be successful. Failure often leads children and adults to give up; teach your child that making mistakes and failures are just bumps on the road to success.
Praise Properly: When you praise your child, do not compliment their ability or talent, but rather their effort, success, and even failure (see #2). Telling your child she is smart or talented in a specific area can limit her desire to challenge herself in another. This has the same effect in the form of negative praise. Stating, “Don’t worry, math is not your thing” or “You can quit gymnastics if you can’t do that cartwheel” have a negative impact on a child’s outlook, shaping a Fixed Mindset and causing them to believe that they do not have to try hard or challenge themselves to succeed.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Rather than dismiss a task where your child is having difficulty with a passive comment, encourage your child’s Growth Mindset by asking open-ended questions such as, “How can you change what you are doing to make it work better?”
Rephrase your questioning: Rather than state, “I see you are having trouble with this,” you can say, “I like how you are working diligently to get the correct answer; what else can you do to solve the problem?”