A charitable & foundational partnerships to ensure that portions of proceeds and/or profits are channeled to organizations dedicated to building better lives for underprivileged kids.
I recently saw a picture of Pink cooking dinner with her children. It was a candid moment of the singer who was seen juggling kids and cooking – as many of us moms do daily.
I assume this picture was shared with pride and love on Pink’s social media. However, the back lash that followed what was supposed to be a sweet mommy moment, was far from sweet.
The so called “Cyber Critics” reacted with incredibly negative comments, including insulting the singer’s parenting style and intelligence.
This left me to sit in the question, “Why do we shame others online?”
It’s safe to say that none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, but it is usually never with malice or ill intent. I assure you that I don’t want any of my mistakes criticized or called out in front of hundreds of people on social media. Do you?
Didn’t think so! How about we make a pact? Let’s get in the practice of asking ourselves, “Will what I am about to say HELP or HURT this person?” If the answer is “Hurt,” then, maybe you should consider not posting. Rather, call the person and discuss over the phone or ask to meet in person to air your concerns.
How about living by this rule of thumb: Don’t say something about someone unless you would feel comfortable saying it to that person’s face.
Can you imagine how much less cyber bullying we would have – and our children would have to endure – if we all lived by this practice? There could be fewer cases of anxiety, depression, and suicide.
This may be one rule of thumb you would like to not only try, but teach your children, as well.
I hope this letter finds you well and enjoying the start of the new school year. I want to introduce myself and explain my story, in hopes that those of you who may be experiencing a similar situation, will know that there is help, and that you will overcome.
My name is Clara. This year I start seventh grade; my second year of middle school. Last year in sixth grade, unfortunately I was bullied through social media, as well as in school. At first, this made me very sad and nervous. I began to believe that maybe the things the person said about me were true; even though I knew deep down that they were not. I questioned why this person singled me out and chose me to treat so poorly. Was this person upset with me? Jealous for some reason? Trying to make me feel badly about myself? To this day I do not know the answer, but I do understand now that it was not because of me or something that I did that caused this person to be unkind.
Fortunately, I had the support of great friends and family members, who helped to guide me through these tough times. Even though I was nervous to go to family and friends at first, I knew that I couldn’t handle this all by myself. My family and friends helped me look at the situation from a different perspective. Once I saw the situation from a different point of view, I realized not to take it personally. Their love and guidance helped me to understand that what caused a person to bully others was most likely that person’s own insecurities. When I finally grasped this concept, my anger turned toward sympathy. It wasn’t easy to feel badly for the person who chose to hurt me, and it was still okay for me to be angry. However, I came to learn that I’M BETTER THAN THAT…better than this type of behavior, and so are you!
Based on my experience, I have some tips I would like for you to consider which I hope may help you in the time of need:
Don’t keep it to yourself — talk to parents, friends, guidance counselors, teachers, or someone else you trust. This may be hard at first; you may be fearful or embarrassed, but please speak up;
Surround yourself with good friends;
If someone is using social media to bully you, take a screen shot of the offensive comments, then block the person on social media. Show the screenshots to an adult whom you trust;
Don’t allow yourself to accept or believe the unkind or untrue things being said about you or anyone else for that matter; and
Know that you will be okay, and that you will get through it with the passing of time.
Your parents, teachers, guidance counselors, and friends believe in you, and don’t want to see you in pain. Please don’t ever be afraid to ask for help. If you or a friend ever experiences bullying, I hope my advice helps. Have a wonderful school year.
For many of us, our memories of childhood are littered with instances of kids being unkind. I, for one, recall swinging across the monkey bars in preschool and breaking my arm because a villain in pigtails refused to make room for me on the jungle gym platform. While the little girl was cruel in that particular situation, I wasn’t a victim of bullying, which can be far more damaging.
Today, “bullying” is often used as a catch-all term to describe unkind actions. True bullying, however, is more than an isolated incident of a child being mean. It’s aggressive behavior intended to hurt or harm someone – and here’s the differentiator – that is repeated over time and involves an imbalance of power. Teaching kids empathy is imperative, particularly for positive outcomes from social situations where power struggles naturally ensue.
Baby boomers, Generation X’ers and even “Senior” Millennials can attest to the fact that “bullying” wasn’t a word often used before the turn of the century. According to the scholarly article, “Four Decades of Research on Bullying,” public concern about school bullying increased dramatically in the late 1990s, largely due to the tragic deaths of our youth by suicide and murder, with the Columbine massacre in 1998 being an egregious example. I would also argue that the commercialization of the internet around this time facilitated an increase in bullying, with keyboards and screens giving kids shields to hide behind when launching their attacks.
This new world that we’re living in requires not only reactive, but proactive measures to fight bullying.
Educational materials on bullying often focus either on encouraging bystanders to stand up for other kids being targeted or on giving bullying victims hope. Both are key messages, but there’s an overlooked part of the equation that can make a big impact on outcomes.
Kids who are revered because they’re athletic, smart, attractive, talented, or just confident typically have the choice to use their social standing to be leaders or to abuse their positions of power and be jerks. The same goes for superheroes, who choose whether to use their superpowers for good or evil. Highlighting kids, community leaders, professional athletes and other everyday heroes who choose to do the right thing, the kind thing, despite being able to abuse their power through bullying, is an impactful way to impress the value of kindness upon young minds.
Parents and educators need to team up and show kids that earning respect from peers is better than creating fear among them. We need to give children confidence that exuding empathy and kindness will not only make those around them feel happier, but they’ll feel happier, too. In fact, treating others well will make them liked and admired, while winning friends. Driving home this important life lesson at an early age takes oxygen away from bullying by promoting the positive alternative.
In my book, It’s Good to Be Kind, children learn that they can’t lift themselves up by putting others down, and kindness, courage and respect are what will make them shine socially. It reminds kids to STOP and THINK whether their choices will HELP or HURT. The story of Leonard the Lion, who is King of the Jungle (the animal kingdom equivalent of a Big Man on Campus), assists kids with making connections to their own lives, practicing social skills and learning strategies needed to be a positive force in their communities. Young readers gather that they can reinforce their self-worth on a daily basis by being BETTER THAN THAT™, better than bad choices including bullying.
While kids being mean to one another is behavior that needs to be addressed, “bullying” is a more deeply rooted pattern. To effectively combat it, children’s worldviews must be shaped from an early age, before the vulnerable preteen and teen years when the often-tragic results from this abuse of social power are most commonly seen.
Prevention can stop bullying before it starts. Let’s work together to ensure that our little ones’ memories of childhood aren’t littered with instances of kids being unkind, but instead are brightened with kindness.
Lauren DuBois Rosemond is the author of It’s Good to Be Kingd, a book for young kids that tells the story of Leonard the Lion who learns the value of using his power and status to make a positive impact on those around him. Purchase your copy of It’s Good to Be Kind.
I recently saw a picture of Pink cooking dinner with her children. It was a candid moment of the singer who was seen juggling kids and cooking – as many of us moms do daily.
posting. Rather, call the person and discuss over the phone or ask to meet in person to air your concerns.
